The Blank Page

Ah, the dreaded blank page! The first blog entry. So intimidating!

But I thought I needed to start this blog for myself — to document this chapter of my life, so I can look back and (hopefully) laugh — and for any other person out there who is struggling. Maybe you’re a single parent like me, maybe you’re trying to start your life over. Maybe you just moved to a new city and you’re scared. (I feel ya!) Maybe things are just tough right now. Whatever the case may be, know that there are others out there with struggles and successes and those gut-wrenching, anvil-heavy questions like, “Am I doing enough?” or “How am I going to get through this?”

While this isn’t a religion-themed blog per se, I do rely heavily on my faith to get me through hard times. Struggles come with lots of prayer. Sometimes it’s what keeps me going. But I don’t intend to preach at you or tell you how YOU should be praying or anything like that.

So a bit about me: Newly divorced. 4 kids. New town. My whole life was in T-ville. Friends, family, familiarity. I had even gotten through half of an RN program. I had to give that up to be down here, in Miami, so I can be with my kids. I fought to get them to T-ville, but the legal system and my ex let me down. My kids are here. So I’m here.

I was a stay-at-home mom before all this went down. My whole life centered around my kids. I spent all day with them. It was hard, but I loved it. Now my goal is to be there for my kids as much as possible while supporting a family of five. The kids will be with their dad 50% of the time, so when they’re with me, I want to make sure I’m the best parent I can possibly be. They’ve been through this divorce, too. It hasn’t been easy on anyone. Although, I guess I can’t speak for my ex… I imagine things are not the way he pictured them, but who knows?

I’m 32 years old and I want to be a nurse. The plan is still for me to go to nursing school; I just have to start over because no school down here takes nursing transfer credit. The next available enrollment period for the program I want is next Fall. More than a year away. So the goal is to make ends meet and save some money until then.

I currently work remotely teaching as a part-time English as a Second Language with VIPKID. I also have a part-time job working for a private case management company. It’s just a few hours a week, but it’s flexible. With these two jobs as they currently stand, plus alimony, I bring in about 3/4 of what I need to make ends meet. Hence, the struggle.

I’m excited to see where this journey takes me. The thing about giving up everything to be with my kids is that I get to rebuild my life. This will probably be the hardest stage of my entire life. I want to make sure it’s worth it.